For working moms, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. It often takes trial and error to find the arrangement that makes you most comfortable. It’s an emotional and personal decision that no outsider should have an opinion on. But, alas, some mom-shamers out there just can’t help themselves. Redditor (and working mom) Curlymay learned this the hard way after sharing in a Facebook mom group that her child would be going to daycare. She was shocked to receive nearly 100 comments shaming her for that choice.
Curlymay wrote the following in her post:
“I’m a solo mama and my kid needs health insurance, so staying home isn’t an option. I’m in a Facebook group of usually awesome moms. I let them know I’ll be putting my 2-year-old in childcare for the first time three days a week (she has been with my mom while I work up until now). I received so many comments from people saying that my kid will have separation issues, that daycares are horrible, that they could never LEAVE their kid and so on. Close to 100 comments about how bad daycare is. Now I’m just feeling an immense load of mom guilt and not sure what to do?”
Though the OP knows that by working, she’s ultimately doing what’s best for her daughter, receiving such an overwhelming amount of negative feedback would get to anyone. Thankfully, Redditors were quick to point out that these mom-shamers were being utterly ridiculous and insensitive.
This comment written by user Momentswithmonsters made several solid points:
“Seriously, parenting is hard. Single parenting is even harder. Moms should be building each other up, not tearing each other down.”
DustinBraddock pointed out the hypocrisy in judging moms for placing their kids in daycare:
“The kid is 2 years old, you could call it ‘preschool’ and everybody would think you were giving them a head start on going to Harvard.”
User Beignetandthejets, who is putting their child in daycare too, had the following to say:
“Your kid is TWO…they will probably love all the social interaction! Is your child supposed to stay with you and only you every day until kindergarten? My child is going into daycare at 8 weeks and I don’t feel an ounce of guilt because I don’t have an option and I know I don’t have to be my child’s entire world for them to grow up happy and healthy and loved.”
Freespirit8888 is a therapist and mom who gave her professional insights on daycare:
“A good childcare facility allows various environmental stimulation and learning often not available solely at home. This prepares the child for school, teaches social skills and allows better resilience building.”
She didn’t fail to get a dig at the mom-shamers either:
“On a personal note—those ladies condemning you—are idiots. Everybody’s life and situation are different and to harass you for your choices is not cool. Ignore them. Do what is right for your life and child.”
Sup3rtroop3r1 had a positive outlook based on her own experience with daycare:
“I was worried when my kid started daycare too. But then I met the other moms. They were badass mothers who are smart as hell, lawyers, doctors, scientists at the CDC, entrepreneurs. If daycare was so awful I’m sure these Ivy League-educated mothers wouldn’t be sending their kids to one. Hell even SAHM’s send their kids to ‘preschool’ as young as 2 where I live. It’s totally normal.”
Nero7882 reminds us that mom-shamers can’t help but jump on nearly any choice mothers make for their kids:
“Think of it this way if you didn’t work and had no insurance [and] no money for food they would talk crap about that the same way. Many of them probably don’t know what real life looks like where you would do anything to provide for your child.”
The OP has yet to provide Redditors with an update, but we’re hopeful that she’s relieved that most (if not all) of the 168 commenters had her back and thought the shaming she received—within a mom group no less—was out of line and unfair. Placing one’s child in daycare is a wonderful option so children can socialize while giving working parents peace of mind.