Cynics debate its existence; romantics argue that it is omnipresent. And those who have found it are too busy enjoying it to question it. Wondering what it is? Well, we are talking about the much-debated topic – true love.
Everyone wants to experience true love, which is perhaps the most beautiful thing in the world. The fact that someone truly or genuinely loves you can give immense happiness and strength in life. While some are lucky enough to find it with ease, some have to search for a lifetime.
So, what exactly is true love, and how do you know it for what it is? In this post, MomJunction tells you all about true love, signs of true love, and how to make it last.
What Is True Love?
True love is a sense of absolute affection and warm feelings towards a person and does not get altered easily. You love a person truly when you are willing to give up your happiness for theirs, and love them for who they are, warts and all.
However, the idea of true love can be different for different people. For some, it could be loving without expectations, and for some others, it is to be a passionate bond that makes them care deeply for each other. When you truly love someone, you give them your all, without any limitations or exceptions.
What Does True Love Feel Like?
Apart from the ‘butterflies in the belly’ feeling and the happiness that seems to follow you everywhere, true love offers three important things that lay a solid foundation for your relationship. If you can relate to these three things, then you may be able to answer the question “what does true love feel like.”
- Safety or security: Did you ever wonder why babies sleep better in their mothers’ arms? Because they know they are safe there. A relationship that can give you peace of mind and safety is based on true love. When you love a person with all your heart, you will never put them in a situation that compromises their safety. So, if you are in a relationship that makes you feel safe physically, emotionally, and mentally, then you already know how it feels to be truly loved.
- Recognition: When your partner’s love for you is true, you will know that they’re going to be there for you no matter what. You don’t have to work hard to get their attention. If you have something to say, they will sit with you and hear you out. At the same time, they would also recognize the small things you do for them, and either compliment or reciprocate them.
- Stability: No matter how hard things may get, a person who truly loves you will not leave you alone. You can go through hell, but their presence will make it all worth it. Giving up is never an option when you love someone, and couples who stand by each other will fight through adversity and come out stronger than ever. Whether it is a tough financial situation or a family feud, there is nothing in the world that can change your love for one another. When it comes to true love, the thought of leaving never arises.
If this is true love, what is not?
What Isn’t True Love?
There is a faint line between true and unauthentic love. Many couples accept abuse and ill-treatment, mistaking them for care and love. So how do you differentiate? Here are a few pointers to help.
- Abuse of any kind under the guise of care is not true love. If your partner is physically abusing you to get their way, it is not love.
- Being possessive and controlling in the name of protection is not love. True love is built on trust, and if your partner is restricting you from going out or talking to friends, then it is possessiveness and jealousy, but not love.
- A partner who is overly dependent on you, restricting your growth, may not really love you. True love helps both the partners grow while enabling them to love each other enough to spend their lives together.
- If your partner gets angry at any negative feedback or shuts you out for sharing your feelings, then it may not be true love.
- If both of you are keeping scores or having a tit-for-tat mentality, then you both need to stop and evaluate your love. True love doesn’t expect; it just offers unconditionally.
Are You Ready For True Love?
True love is indeed a precious feeling, and everyone longs to experience it. If cupid doesn’t magically bring true love into your life, how do you find it? While there is no sure shot formula to find true love, there are a few tips to increase your chances.
- Make yourself worthy of true love. Before you start your journey of finding true love, you need to make yourself worthy of it. For starters, develop a positive attitude that can pave the way for happiness and joy in life. True love means to be able to accept a person as they are and also to forgive their mistakes and still love them. For you to be able to do that, you must first accept yourself.
- Have a clear idea of what you want. It is important to understand the qualities you want in your partner. Also, know that it may not be possible to find all those qualities in a person (and that is okay). But having a clear idea of what you expect and what you can offer to the relationship can make it easier to find love.
- To find true love, you must first love yourself. How can you love someone when you do not love yourself? Self-love is not being narcissistic. Loving yourself is about being comfortable in your own skin, enjoying solitude and being happy with how you look, talk or dress, and not needing another person to “feel complete.” Such self-confidence will not only make you attractive but also help you in understanding others.
- Stop looking for it and start being yourself. We understand you cannot wait to find true love. But going on a quest or forcing yourself to find it will only leave you disappointed, or worse, with the wrong person. Instead, be yourself, do things that make you happy, and spend time with people who share similar interests. And when the time is right, you will bump into that person who could be your true love.
- Stop fearing the worst. Our past experiences and insecurities can prevent us from opening up. This could be a natural mechanism to protect ourselves from pain and hurt. But, if you always fear the worst and lock yourself, you are slashing your chances of finding true love. Confidence is the key to finding true love. So deal with your fear, and step out of your comfort zone.
- Good things come to those who wait. You cannot expect to find true love overnight. Even after you find someone compatible, it takes time to reach a state where you truly, unconditionally love each other. True love is not necessarily instant. So do not rush things and force yourself or that person into a relationship that neither of you is ready for.
Take things slowly, spend time with each other, and become best friends. But, if things don’t work out, do not give up. Learn from that experience and move on.
If you have found that someone special, then look for some of these signs to know if they are the one.
Signs Of True Love
True love can make a relationship strong and long-lasting. It can change you into a better person, and it could also be one of the best things to have happened in your life. But how do you know you really have it? Read more to know.
1. You do not hide things.
When two people love each other genuinely, they would want to be transparent with each other. No lies or hiding facts. Whether it is about a text from an old flame or a huge financial loss, nothing is hidden in the relationship. You would also want to share everything about your life: your past, present, as well as the plans for the future with your partner.
2. You do not resort to petty games.
True love will never have any malicious intentions. You love them without any conditions attached. Someone with ulterior motives would play games to manipulate and get their way. For example, they’d use sex or expensive gifts to get the partner to do things for them. That is not real love.
3. Your eyes and heart do not wander.
There will always be someone prettier or more successful than your partner, but you will not be interested if you truly love your partner. Your love would be so strong that no matter how good someone might seem, you will find them not as good as your partner. Even in those times when you find yourself in a compromising situation, you will say NO! And run back to your partner. Such is the power of true love.
4. You do not focus on their flaws.
When we say flaw, we mean trivial things like laziness to do the laundry, not being punctual, etc. Such things can be overlooked when you love someone, as no one is perfect. You have your flaws too!
But, this doesn’t mean you tolerate abuse, or infidelity, which are not mere flaws. If you don’t mind your partner being a little rough around the edges, then you are genuinely in love.
5. You are kind and generous to them.
When you truly love someone, you will do anything to see a smile on their face. You would go out of your way to be kind and generous towards them. You cannot shout at or demean your partner and call it love! When you truly love someone, you treat them with kindness and be generous towards their mistakes.
6. You respect and treat them as your equal.
Respect is another form of true love. If you truly love your partner, you would respect their views, life choices, and opinions. You will treat them as your equal and trust their decisions. You will see good in them and believe that their exceptional qualities make your life better.
7. You share their sorrows and support them.
Love is not always about how happy you both are, and true love knows this. If you found true love, you can never leave them alone during tough times. You would not think twice to support them. Your first instinct would be to leave everything and comfort them when they need it.
8. You try to see things from their perspective.
True love only knows self-care, not selfishness. So, when you are in a relationship with someone you love, you genuinely try to understand and see things from their perspective. During conflicts, you can see their true intentions and would not judge them for wanting something different.
If you could relate to these signs, then you are lucky to have found true love. But do not be disappointed if you couldn’t relate to it. If you are in a relationship where you and your partner love and value each other, then do not think less of it just because you are not feeling an out-of-the-world connection.
True love is something you develop over time, as you get to know each other better. All that is needed is patience and some effort from both the partners. But can true love last a lifetime? How do you ensure that?
How To Make True Love Last?
Being truly loved is a rare and special experience that not everyone gets to enjoy. If you have been lucky enough to have found it, it is good to know how to make it last.
- When you are lucky enough to find true love, never take it for granted. If your partner is showering you with unconditional love, value it and try to reciprocate. If they love you enough to accept your weaknesses and let your mistakes slide, it is because they truly love you, and not because their life is dependent on you. So, to make your true love last, you need to work for it too.
- No matter how busy you are in life, or how old your relationship might be, never underestimate the importance of spending quality time together. This allows you both to talk to each other and share your feelings. So, pick up a hobby and use it to have fun and love each other a little more each day.
- Do the little things and random acts of kindness that can create magic in your relationship. It shows your partner that even after all these years, you still love them the same. Also, selflessness is a sign of true love.
- Let go of the past. If you loved your partner enough to forgive their mistakes, never bring them up in the future. Your love had the strength to move on from the murky past, so if you want to keep it, let go of it, and look toward the future.
- Be honest. The foundation to true love is honesty; if you have nothing to hide from each other, then you are already halfway through showing true love. Honesty builds trust, and with trust, your love comes out stronger than ever.
- Show genuine care. If you truly love your partner, then show it in your actions by caring for each other’s physical and emotional well being. Also, support each other and tackle any issue as a team.
True love is all about letting down your guard and trusting the other person without any boundaries. It is when your baby is crying in the middle of the night, and you choose to wake up because your partner is tired. It is knowing your partner is tired from work and not picking up a fight with them for coming home late or missing family dinner.
If this article reminds you of your dear one, then congratulations! You are fortunate to have found true love in your life. This also means you now have a bigger responsibility of protecting that true love throughout your life. So be on it.
What does true love mean to you? Let us know in the comments section below.