The Job That Pays the Rent Never Works

Have you ever been wondering whether or not you did the right thing by enrolling in this particular field of expertise when applying to college?

Great, so have I.

It’s a scary thought — have I chosen wisely?

Years ago when I was applying to college, I let my heart lead me.

I chose Slavic Linguistics with the clear idea that maybe, just maybe, I might be having trouble finding a decent job to sustain my independent lifestyle.

I could have chosen differently — I could have thrown myself into the world of economics, business, entrepreneurship, science. With a bit of luck and tons of hard work, I could have landed a job that would, essentially, take care of all my spendings.

But I headed to the opposite direction

As I was making my mind on my future, I remember thinking about my inner passion. Surely, it was leading me towards words. Books. Sentences. Love. I spent a week trying to figure out the proper answer to the never-ending question out there — the one that haunts us at night:

Should I follow my mind or my heart?

So, staying true to myself and my constant romanticizing of the world, I went with words. With books. With faith in choices.

After graduation, I had to choose again

I had a chance of starting working at a local logistics company. My first thought was:

Hell! What am I supposed to do there? Do I know anything about logistics? Do I even care about trucks?

The thing was this — I wanted to start living on my own terms and move out of my parents’ home. I’ve decided it’s about time I begin building a life of my own. Given the fact that the job offered to coach me as a newbie, this time I’ve decided to follow my mind for a change. So I said ‘Yes’ and spent four years there, thinking of how I’m wasting my time.

The job did indeed pay the rent, but I was in debt to my heart

As the days went by, I became to realize that mornings weren’t so fun anymore — I was slowly losing my spark day after day, a cup of coffee after a cup of coffee, getting ready to step right into a world my heart didn’t belong to.

I’ve put writing aside. Words didn’t come to me as they used to. I read rarely, my mind began entering this loop of daily repetition. But, most importantly, I didn’t feel myself anymore.

Sure, the money was okay. I’ve met some great people there. From the outside, I looked like someone who was getting their shit together knowing exactly what they are doing while staying on the right track.

From the inside, I was a mess

I missed the moments when my heart raced a bit when publishing a piece. I missed the evenings when I used to think of topics to cover up next. I simply missed aligning my heart with my mind — and I most certainly acknowledged that this was the essence of life after all.

It’s okay to take a slight detour, but have no fear in also taking sharp turns

Of course, I quit. Eventually, I chose my heart again and, to my surprise, witnessed something extraordinary: by following your heart you are getting closer to reuniting it with your mind and thus achieving inner peace.

It’s only natural for a person to experiment and try out different things and approaches. It’s even a must, to put it this way — by taking detours you come to realizations of what’s truly important to you.

If I had never put myself in a situation where I felt I didn’t belong to the job I was doing, perhaps I would have never realized the importance of writing and words in my life in order to be happy and fulfilled.

So be brave — follow your heart, embrace detours down the road and always, always head back home.

Previously published on Medium.com.

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