Queer Mexican Couple Talk About Love, Culture, and Their First Date

Watch as Joaquin & Cristhian talk about their 7 year relationship and reflect on how they first met.

in christian-like does the total
00:03
first-day move I don’t want to pay for
00:05
the food we get the bill he’s like I
00:09
gotta go to the restroom Christian comes
00:11
back from the restroom and I’m just
00:12
sitting there and he’s like oh can you
00:14
tell him to come back for the bill I
00:15
totally got what you just did right now
00:17
what don’t worry about it I took he was
00:20
like no I wanted to pay a maybe reaches
00:22
for his wallet I did it mostly to be hi
00:37
everyone my name is Joaquin I’m a
00:38
community organizer around sexual
00:40
reproductive health of young people I’m
00:41
Christian and I do underwriting for an
00:43
auto finance company I identify as a
00:45
queer brown Mexican man and I identify
00:48
as a gay Mexican I actually met
00:53
Christians really good friend at a pride
00:56
party of mom Beach she told me she’s
00:57
like I like you for my best friend we
00:59
didn’t have any communication for like a
01:01
year found each other on Facebook I
01:03
remember a message and I was excuse me
01:05
you promised me something cute on Harry
01:07
and then she connected me through his
01:09
Facebook page and then we just started
01:11
talking we just kind of added each other
01:13
on Facebook I think it was and he liked
01:15
this picture he looking really douchey
01:17
and like but looked so stylish and I was
01:20
like ah he’s so cute and kind of the
01:22
same with you
01:25
[Music]
01:32
so we met up and I was running late and
01:35
I didn’t end up picking up until uh uh
01:38
and we’re just supposed to grab a drink
01:39
or something like that
01:40
anyhow we ended up at Chili’s and I
01:42
think we were both kind of be modest cuz
01:44
we were like oh let’s have a sampler and
01:46
like some beers right and then Christian
01:47
like does the total first date move I
01:51
don’t want to pay for the food you get
01:55
the bill he’s like I gotta go to the
01:57
restroom Christian comes back from the
01:58
restroom and I’m just sitting there and
02:00
he’s like oh can you tell him to come
02:02
back for the bill I totally got what you
02:04
just did right now what don’t worry
02:06
about it I took here’s like no I wanted
02:08
to pay and he reaches for his wallet I
02:10
did it mostly to be unemployed and
02:12
annoying and so I was like okay I’m like
02:14
well let’s go have another drink or
02:15
let’s drive around somewhere he was on
02:17
the phone the whole time I just never
02:19
been like how it’s like my nervous thing
02:21
I don’t know I was like no one’s texting
02:23
you
02:27
[Music]
02:32
we’ve been together for seven years
02:34
going on a secret little life I think
02:37
having fun it was really important for
02:39
us I think we’re all very fun
02:40
individually we’ll go on a vacation and
02:42
we’re like oh is that a National
02:44
Monument we’ve been very blessed like to
02:48
have supportive families for Aladdin
02:50
eggs brown folk or community of color
02:52
and our families go through the notions
02:54
of like learning about who we are and
02:56
what we represent as a couple as two men
02:58
in love breaking those boundaries of a
03:00
traditional love is seeing the growth of
03:03
my family of my parents and
03:05
understanding that I’m with someone who
03:07
is like unconditionally there for me and
03:10
that like breaks any other feelings that
03:12
they might have about the situation my
03:14
family has always been really very
03:16
loving and more concerned with just like
03:18
happiness I think they saw what I went
03:20
through in high school being on the
03:21
football team and being outed getting
03:24
into fights every day and all that once
03:26
they found out what you know what’s
03:27
causing it they just wanted to embrace
03:29
me and make sure that at least at home
03:30
that I was loved and so I was lucky
03:32
enough you know to have that
03:35
[Music]
03:43
so queer love to me is kind of like this
03:47
real radical idea of like being one’s
03:50
true self and just living your truth
03:53
regardless of what that is you know not
03:55
being attached to binaries not being
03:57
attached to boundaries whether it’s
03:59
through clothing through music through
04:01
your emotions whatever it may be like
04:03
that’s the beauty of queer love that
04:05
we’re able to just so openly talk about
04:07
feelings and and be attached to things
04:10
that are not in that kind of
04:11
heteronormative script so for me kernel
04:13
is just radical and it’s beautiful but
04:15
for me it’s just about just being able
04:17
to live whatever life you want like with
04:19
your partner and you know no judgments
04:21
just to be happy
04:22
you know whatever that may be yeah what
04:36
took me Christian is he’s really
04:38
available to those that he loves and he
04:40
loves unconditionally making sure that
04:42
everyone’s having a good time and
04:44
everyone’s comfortable and I love how he
04:46
can walk into a room and people are just
04:48
like drawn to him it’s just amazing to
04:50
see you like me more and more
04:52
comfortable with yourself I just know
04:54
that like if you’re there like it’s
04:56
gonna be okay I mean Joaquin overall is
04:58
is a pretty amazing individual aside
05:01
from being you know the life of the
05:02
party and being charismatic what I
05:04
appreciate the most is that you do love
05:06
me unconditionally and I think it made
05:08
even more sense when you project that
05:10
towards my family and I think that my
05:12
family can count on you and any family
05:14
to me is you know number one so I love
05:16
you
05:26
[Music]
05:30
you make me feel that I can accomplish
05:32
like so much with having you on my side
05:35
and just you make me feel free to
05:37
express like every side of me you give
05:40
me this feeling that I have never felt
05:42
before and I don’t think I could ever
05:44
feel for anyone
05:45
every mind I carry some make sense after
05:47
you regardless of anything that I may
05:53
say right or wrong you still love me
05:55
you’re still gonna be by my side and I
05:57
know I just I appreciate the fact that
05:59
you love in additionally and that you
06:01
want the best for me that you are about
06:04
my family my best interest I love you I
06:06
can’t thank you enough for being that
06:08
person for me
06:14
you

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