When I got pregnant, one of my friends told me how she could never do that to her body. Not the nicest thing to say to a first-time pregnant lady, I must say. But I’m sure she didn’t mean it in a bad way. She was just being honest, saying it like it is. And that’s one thing I wish every pregnant mom-to-be would do. We could all use a little bit of honesty at this time of life besides some sugar-coated words. It’s a pretty obvious thing that pregnancy changes your body. But I’ve seen women totally jump over the ‘pregnancy changes’ part when they talk about their journey to motherhood.
And God forbid, if I did mention how hard it was for me to accept those changes, people would say that it’s selfish to even be upset about it. But before I go on, let me make one thing clear, I love my daughter to death and I would do anything for her. However, when I think about it, it’s sad and kind of ridiculous that I have to declare and prove my love for my kids before I can even begin to talk about it.
Body Positivity Doesn’t Come Easy For Some
I love women who are embracing their saggy and stretched skin post-pregnancy. Flaunting their stretch marks, it gives women like me the assurance that we are beautiful. But let me tell you that body positivity doesn’t come so easily to everyone. In fact, some women struggle with it their whole life.
When I learned that I was pregnant, I was over the moon. With every passing month, I was thrilled and couldn’t wait to have my daughter in my arms. I could deal with nausea and the mood swings, but what I had the most trouble with was my changing body.
I was a size 4 all my life. And I was never the one to follow any gym routine or stick to any diet to maintain my weight. I was lucky enough in that department. By the time I hit my third trimester, I had become a size 8. I was still okay with the weight. ‘You can always lose it after pregnancy’ – that’s what I thought. But what upset me the most was the stretch marks and the excess hair (and not on my scalp).
These changes were overwhelming for me. I had developed stretch marks on my breasts, thighs, and my belly. And no matter what cream I tried, it refused to fade away. And with the puffy face, and the swollen feet, I could barely recognize myself anymore. It was a rough time for me. I struggled to come to terms with all the changes that were happening to my body.
Your Feelings Are Valid!
What made it really painful was I wasn’t allowed to talk about it with anyone. The few times that I did, some called me silly and told me that I was upset over nothing. Others said that it’s selfish on my part to even be worried over something as ‘petty’ as my body. I loved wearing crop tops and low cut dresses. I was upset over my dwindling wardrobe choices.
And after pregnancy, the varicose veins and the saggy skin made it even harder for me. Negative thoughts about my body image started to creep in every single time I looked at myself in the mirror. And 1 year after having my daughter, I still couldn’t manage to shed those extra kilos. But now I have come to terms with it, and mind you, it was tough.
So, if you’re going through something similar, don’t let anyone undermine your feelings. Change is hard, and your feelings are valid too. You are allowed to be upset about it. It’s okay to feel sad about all that is happening with your body. Although your body is never going to be the same again, so will your heart. A piece of your heart will belong to the little one in your arms, and it will all make it worth it in the end.