Nothing will drown you faster than your thoughts.
Not even a riptide
I realized this once again this morning as I was driving to a meeting in bumper to bumper traffic. I allowed my future tripping thoughts and all my worries to create dread that instantly change my state. I noticed my body tense. My breath shortened. I couldn’t sit still. My car suddenly felt like a prison.
But just minutes earlier, I was happy and rocking out to a classic 70’s jam while sipping morning coffee and tearing pieces of a toasted bagel with bacon, egg, and cream cheese— an orgasm in my mouth – from a brown bag in the passenger seat. I slept well last night. And sleep is everything.
But my thoughts called the cops to my little car party and suddenly my mind was racing. I was worried about the future, angry about the traffic, and there was cream cheese smeared all over my steering wheel. Which I hadn’t noticed when I was happy seconds earlier.
The good news was I was listening to a podcast about intentions and how our thoughts manifest into reality. Not in a magical hokey way. But through time and energy, mindset, and action. I prefer the word movement over action. I believe our energy is constantly moving. And it’s how we move this energy that creates our reality. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about our bodies or our thoughts.
It reminded me to go back to this one question.
What is the universe preparing me for?
Whenever my head fills with all the sh*t the week stirs up, the todos, the bills, the pressures I put on myself to be where I “should” be and what will happen if I’m not, I start to drown.
So I have to pull back.
I have to reorganize my energy — reposition movement.
Like I’m doing mental Tai Chi or some sh*t.
Take a deep breath. Or six.
And try to answer the question above.
What is the universe preparing me for?
This does two things.
1. It reminds me that the universe is at work and there are greater things at play than my current worries.
Just because it doesn’t feel like anything’s happening doesn’t mean nothing’s happening. We are such logic-driven want to see proof creatures. But you know as well as I do, there are so many things we can’t see. Like energy, and it’s always moving. There have been seeds planted you may have forgotten about. Or don’t know how or when they will bear fruit and what that fruit will look like. The Butterfly Effect is in full effect.
2. I am being prepared which means I am in training.
This helps me pull back and look at my entire story, where I was, where I am now, and where I’m going. As I connect dots and see how the struggles and hardships I went through were required to tip the next domino, I can see that there is a path. I didn’t think there was back then, until much later when I was able to look back and see why things played out the way they did, or why they didn’t. When I ask myself the question, What is the universe preparing me for?, I am able to trust my story again and know I will look back one day and make sense of today’s chaos. This helps me trust my story more.
I love the word “preparing”. There is so much strength there. This means whatever I’m going through now that’s causing me anxiety and resistance is actually training. When I’m able to see life turbulence this way, I am able to lean into it. Like I’m attacking a workout, knowing there is a stronger version of me on the other side.
Turn your dial from suffering to training.
So I’ll answer that question. What is the universe preparing me for these days? Looking at all the events unfolding now, I believe (and of course it’s a choice) that the universe is preparing me to have more courage, the courage I will need to put myself and my story out there more, to be able to really stand on it so I’m not just writing about it. Right now I can hide behind the safety of my phone and computer. I will need more courage and confidence to step out from behind the screen.
I believe the universe is preparing me to be a better entrepreneur and business person. By allowing me to experience all the stresses and challenges of a start-up and working with teams. I believe the universe is preparing me for more creative “failures” so I continue to learn and grow, harness my voice, and have the tools to keep building. “Failure” is a true test to see if you really have a fixed or growth mindset. And if I want to do the things I want to do, be the person I want to be, I can not have a fixed mindset.
I think the universe is preparing me to live higher, because I find myself thinking a lot about things greater than me, the big picture. I’ve been noticing energy and how it moves in my life. Forced vs flow. I’ve been paying more attention to events unfolding and why. I’ve been noticing serendipity. The universe winking. Believing that nothing is a coincidence. I’ve been thinking more about the dent I want to make before I leave this planet. The dialogue I want to create. I don’t know, maybe that comes with age. But I’m less obsessed with things.
I think the universe wants me to be more disciplined with food and what I put in my body. Because I’ve been struggling with bloating and food allergies, which I’ve been ignoring. But maybe it’s time to really eat better. I’ve never had a problem with exercise. It’s the food part that I fall short on.
I think the universe is preparing me to have the ability to appreciate everything I have today, and really live in the moment. The freedom to design my day the way I want to in the last two years has really allowed me to slow down and appreciate moments. Instead of chase the next big thing. This is the year I really felt gratitude for the first time in my life. And noticed trees, as I often say.
I think the universe is preparing me to learn about love and intimacy one. Deeper level so I can experience notes I’ve never hit before but have only written about. All my dating experiences in the last three years have taught me so much about love and connection, what works and doesn’t, about what to put weight on.
When I look at all the things the universe is preparing me for, I now get excited. I am able to pull back. To see that any anxiety and struggles and all the things I am currently worried about are just exercises. They will help me grow. They will pass. They are leading to other things. Bigger things.
Look at all the things in your life that are creating anxiety and stress. Including relationships. What are you supposed to learn from these events? How will they change your thinking? What is the universe preparing you for?
We never grow in stagnant water.
It’s getting thrown around in the riptide that will make us better swimmers so that we can reach our island.
This post was originally published here and is republished with permission from the author.
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