Earlier this week, Los-Angeles-based dad Muhammed Nitoto decided to “drop some knowledge” on new or soon-to-be fathers, sharing five tips from his “Daddy Chronicles.” Based on the accompanying photo he uploaded, Muhammed and his wife just welcomed a new baby.
His tips seem to cover all the bases, and include insight on how their partners might react or feel about certain situations, plus ways to avoid fights.
On night feedings:
“When mom wakes up in the middle of the night, you get up and ask if she needs any help or water. The truth is most of the time she will say no but just the fact that you offered will go far.”
All we have to say to this is YES. It’s the thought that counts.
And if she’s pumping?
Muhammed recommended that dads pick one feeding that they’ll always do. “Mom will take on almost everything and will burn herself out if you let her. At times you may have to force her to rest without worrying about the baby. This is an easy way to do that without a fight.”
This is genius.
He also advised dads not to put a time limit on how long mom breastfeeds the baby.
“It’s not just about feeding your child; it’s about them bonding as well. I know everyone has a different length of time they will breastfeed, and as a dad it’s hard to fully understand,” he wrote. “Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try to rush this process. It’s not our place and it’s not safe. You will open yourself up to a fight you can’t win.”
Patience is also something he reminded new dads to have.
“I know as a Dad the first few weeks we are equally excited and yet not as important yet. Your time will come faster than you know. Babies grow fast, and the stronger [and] bigger they get, the more Daddy Time will be coming your way.”
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, he told new fathers to take paternity leave if they can.
“The early stages of a child’s life are not just for moms to enjoy. I know, as men, making the money especially after having a baby [is important,] but trust me. You can always make money but there are no instant replays in life. It doesn’t make you more of a man to not take the leave. It’s equally as important that you as a dad get to be a part of the early development of your child.”
He concluded his post, which now has 38,000 shares, asking people to tag whoever needs the advice. We’re looking at you, new dads who feign cluelessness, feel like they need to “be told” how to help, or just don’t feel like assisting their partners who are breastfeeding!
Clearly, Muhammed gets it, and understands that fathers should be doing as much as they can to help their partners. Just because the mother of their child doesn’t ask for help doesn’t mean she doesn’t need it. A lot of it is being in tune with your partner’s needs.
Muhammed has done a solid for new dads everywhere who might not be as self-aware as he is. If they aren’t great at figuring out how to help their partner who just delivered their baby, they now have a written list to go by. See the whole post below.