Hilarious Dad Mocks Schools’ Ridiculous Requests in Viral Faux Newsletter

As if keeping up with a child’s school and holiday schedule isn’t enough, working parents are also tasked with keeping track of school fundraisers and making sure kids wear the appropriate outfits for awareness and spirit days.

A Manchester, U.K., father of two and doctor was so done with all the fundraising demands from his children’s school newsletter, he decided to post a hysterically funny parody of the letter on Facebook. “Dear Parents,” Paul Callan wrote. “A reminder that on Monday the children are asked to wear coloured contact lenses to raise awareness of the critically endangered Guatemalan colour blind tree gecko. Please bring a £1 donation.”

To poke fun at the many menial projects kids make in elementary school, Paul said, “Tuesday is the start of Medieval Ruins Awareness month. Please bring in a 1:8 scale model of your child’s favourite 11th century Roman fortress. Don’t forget your £1 donation to support our Historical Reenactment society.”

With the holiday season approaching, Paul knows the school requests are sure to get even more extravagant. “The children have been busy making Christmas pictures out of felt and glitter,” Paul said. “These half finished abominations can be printed onto a tea towel (£17) or mouse mat (£13). They would make wonderful gifts for any relatives who thought it would be a good idea to buy your child a slime making kit last Christmas.”

To poke fun at the many menial projects kids make in elementary school, Paul said, “Tuesday is the start of Medieval Ruins Awareness month. Please bring in a 1:8 scale model of your child’s favourite 11th century Roman fortress. Don’t forget your £1 donation to support our Historical Reenactment society.”

With the holiday season approaching, Paul knows the school requests are sure to get even more extravagant. “The children have been busy making Christmas pictures out of felt and glitter,” Paul said. “These half finished abominations can be printed onto a tea towel (£17) or mouse mat (£13). They would make wonderful gifts for any relatives who thought it would be a good idea to buy your child a slime making kit last Christmas.”

If, like us, you’re slightly concerned about the strain that balancing fatherhood with a full-time medical career has on Paul, don’t be. He has the perfect solution: “We are aware of the stresses and strains of modern family life. That’s why we have started mindfulness and meditation sessions for parents starting this Friday at 5-30am in the school hall. Due to an administrative oversight, you will share the hall with the Year 6 British Bulldog taster session. Please bring a helmet and shinpads, as well as your £1 donation. Have a great week!”

The lack of consideration some schools have for working parents is mind-boggling, but we’re glad Paul found a way to make light of it. Don’t let your child forget their 1:8 scale models and colored contact lenses next Monday!

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