Q: I am seeing this guy and he’s great, but something keeps bugging me. He REALLY reminds of my ex! Even though they look and sound completely different, there is just something about the way he looks at me and his voice that keeps me remembering my ex. How can I get past this?
A: Well, the first thing is you may have attracted your ex in another body. If we don’t get the lesson, if we don’t do the work, if we don’t reap the benefits of growth that a past relationships has provided us and we are just the same person, you are going to attract someone that is exactly the same, in a different body. Look there first. How do you get past this? I don’t think you should. I think you should trust your gut, trust what’s bugging you, and have a look. Maybe this is the relationship where you can change it. Maybe this is the relationship where you can grow in the relationship, in the fire. You can work through a new way of being. Whenever he does something that reminds you of your ex, check in – what is it that you need in that moment? What is off in that moment? What is out of alignment with your values? What’s the invitation for you to step into? Something is there in the moments that is trying to speak to you. This time, show up, this time do the work, this time – grow. Now, this does not mean you are going to stay with him or break up. We don’t know that future because we can’t control him but you can control you, you can take responsibility for you.
So start there and if you need some help with being confident in that, my book – How To Be and Stay Sexy – has so many practices on how to be in your body, valuing yourself, unattached to the outcome, the invitation, and to know what you deserve. So if that’s going to support you, I would definitely check that out. You also know how to get in contact with me if you would like some coaching – allanapratt.com.
Until next time, all my love.
A version of this post was previously published on allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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