Do You Believe in Chemistry?

I had an interesting conversation with a client last night.

He asked me the same question over and over again.

It’s a question that a lot of guys ask me:

“What do you think of the women that just don’t want to talk to you?”

And…

“I don’t understand why they just don’t want to talk to me. Shouldn’t I be able to relate to them?”

Take a look at what I just wrote.

Shouldn’t I be able to relate to them?

Think about this for a second:

Do you get along with everybody at work? Are you friends with everybody at work, or is there one or two people that you just really don’t like?

You know, they walk into the office and you just want to avoid them. You could both be walking to the water cooler, and even though you’re thirsty, you’d turn and walk back to your desk.

You know, the person that traps you in the bathroom and talks your ear off or the person you don’t want to ride the elevator down with. They always just rub you the wrong way.

When you go out and meet a bunch of guys, like at a friend’s backyard BBQ, do you like every one of them? There’s that guy, with the breath, drinking his Natural Ice, and he starts talking to you nonstop and you’re just like, “Dude, you’re boring.

When you go to the gym and work out, aren’t there just some people there that you just don’t ever want to talk to? There’s something about them that just turns you off. You’ve tried to have conversations with them, and they’re just not really fun to talk to. They’re boring.

Do you see what I’m getting at here?

How come, when it comes down to the same sex or coworkers, you don’t care? I never hear any of you whining, “Oh my God, I went to this party last night, and there was this dude there, man, and he just — he just — I don’t know. He just rejected me, didn’t want to talk to me. I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?”

I’ve never heard any guys say, “Man, I was at the gym tonight, and I was working out, and this guy walked into my set, and he just like — I don’t know, man. He just didn’t seem to like me at all. I don’t understand. Why didn’t he like me? I tried to talk to him while he was benching and he just didn’t want to talk to me at all. It’s like…I don’t get it. Why doesn’t he like me? What’s wrong? Is there anything wrong with me?”

You don’t say this, because you don’t care.

There are people in life that you just don’t get along with; people that you don’t have chemistry with; people that you have nothing in common with.

It’s the same way with women.

But yet, why are you so obsessed with women—trying to get all of them to like you, all of them to want to be with you? You think that there’s some magic that allows you to basically have chemistry with every woman you meet.

And why do you get so freaked out when a woman that you handpicked does not want to talk to you at all? Why does it bother you? She’s just another person.

If she were a dude, you wouldn’t care at all.

But because she’s a woman, you get all bent out of shape and then you think there’s something wrong with you.

You need to keep the same principles in line when communicating with either men or women.

could care less if a woman doesn’t want to talk to me or a man doesn’t want to talk to me. I could care less. It means that just there’s nothing going on. We’ve got nothing in common. We have no chemistry. There’s no spark between us.

I don’t care. It doesn’t bother me, not even for a second.

I feel great when I walk away from somebody who I just don’t relate to. And that’s the key here: feeling really amazing about yourself. Being able to cultivate that feeling every single day is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself.

By doing this and becoming a powerful person, you’re going to walk around with a lot more self confidence and you’ll see yourself a lot higher in the pecking order of life.

Go out and have fun. Be amazing. Be awesome.

And don’t feel bad if everybody else can’t relate to your high level of awesomeness.

Previously published on davidwygant.com and is republished here under permission.

◊♦◊

If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.

All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.

Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.

Photo credit: iStockphoto.com

Back to Top