Dancin’ the Blues

Blues dancing can at times be quite sensual. So how can I do that and still maintain integrity? One word: Boundaries.

Over the past 10 years since I got more seriously into social dance I’ve learned quite a myriad of styles, primarily swing and ballroom. One night at a “fusion” dance about three years back, I learned yet another style — blues. (I’ve played that music as well, so I get the feeling.)

I bring that up because blues dancing can at times be quite sensual (and I for one enjoy the often-close physical contact with a partner). So how can I do that and still maintain integrity?

One word: Boundaries.

I always allow my partner to decide just how close she gets to me, and thus it’s up to me to control myself because she’s in effect expecting to trust me; most dance groups maintain a code of conduct anyway, so if I did anything uncouth I could be run out. An actual dance can be smoldering, the truth be told, but I just let that wash over me while we execute those moves.

Last night at a dance in a city park adjacent to the university district I engaged in two close dances with a woman young enough to be my daughter if I had children and whom do I find physically attractive. However, she was for a brief period a worship leader at my church and I’ve been a part of that ministry for two decades, so she probably suspected, correctly, that I wasn’t about to “do anything” precisely because of our association.

Some months ago during a blues festival fundraiser — here in Pittsburgh, we have quite a number of those — I engaged in a dance with one of my regular swing partners. Recently I told her, “I remember that dance.” And I’m leaving it at that.

A version of this post was previously published on UncommonSenseCommentary and is republished here with permission from the author.


Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood


If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.

All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.

Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.

Photo credit: istockphoto

Back to Top