Creating a Conscious Relationship

“How many great relationships do you see out there? I don’t mean long lasting relationships. I am talking about caring relationships where you empower each other to be as great as you can be.” – Brendon Watt

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself if you really want a relationship? And if you do, what would you really like to create? Australia-based authors Simone Milasas and Brendon Watt explore this question and suggest tools from their latest book, “Relationship, Are You Sure You Want One?”

In this talk they discuss:
– Why ‘creationship’ is greater than relationship.
– The relationship myths that are tripping you up from happiness
– The 5 elements of intimacy: honour, gratitude, allowance, trust and vulnerability.

No matter if your status is single, married or it’s complicated 😉 this talk will inspire you to start creating your relationships in a different way.



Transcript provided by YouTube:

00:00
let me give you a bit of a background
00:02
it’s like this is Brennan Watt I’m
00:03
Simone molasses we were actually in a
00:06
relationship for eight years great
00:09
relationship a lot of people said to us
00:12
can you please write a book can you
00:15
please give us some tools can you please
00:17
give us some information on how you
00:19
create a great relationship because they
00:22
watched what we did they watched how we
00:24
were with each other and desired to know
00:26
more about how to create a great
00:28
relationship so we did we do seminars
00:31
all over the world and so we thought
00:33
okay let’s write a book let’s put this
00:35
book together it’s quite vulnerable its
00:38
humorous extremely well you know we tell
00:41
a lot of stories that people are like
00:42
wow we don’t even want to talk about
00:44
that with our partners and you put it in
00:45
a book like yes we did and then when the
00:49
book was ready to go much to the the
00:53
frightening experience that Justine our
00:55
PR agent had we broke the relationship
00:58
up so we’re no longer in a relationship
01:02
that’s the funny part about it the media
01:04
in America had an absolute ball with it
01:07
they were like oh my god you’ve written
01:08
this book on creating a great
01:10
relationship and now you’re not
01:11
relationship together but the one thing
01:13
that we really desired everyone to have
01:15
is choice you should be able to choose
01:19
if you desired have been in a
01:20
relationship or choose not to be in a
01:22
relationship I mean the woman I got my
01:25
nails done with today it’s like her
01:27
whole head set is if she’s not in a
01:30
relationship she’s wrong and it’s not
01:32
true it’s like whatever you choose to do
01:35
and whatever you choose to be is
01:37
actually the right choice for you this
01:40
book has so many tools in it about how
01:42
to create a great relationship and we’re
01:45
actually going to start our second book
01:47
on uncreated a relationship we’re
01:49
breaking up breaking up is easy ish
01:56
yeah cuz it’s been about a year now yeah
01:58
yeah yeah so so yeah and we we also
02:01
didn’t have great relationships before
02:04
this ones like we worked at this and we
02:06
talked about in the book we talk about
02:08
the tools that we used and we’re
02:10
fortunate enough to have some really
02:12
wonderful friends that we’d call and say
02:14
what do I do with this help me with this
02:16
and you know and we’d get these tools
02:19
and the relationship would start working
02:21
so we’ve put we’ve put all of this in
02:24
this book we didn’t hold back with
02:26
anything so we’ve we’ve put it all in
02:28
and and really told the stories to about
02:31
the the things that people don’t really
02:34
talk about in relationship like I don’t
02:37
know about you but I’d look at the
02:39
relationships on social media and go wow
02:41
they have a perfect relationship and
02:43
then you’d meet them and they’d argue
02:45
constantly those like we can portray
02:48
this picture of a great relationship
02:49
when you actually meet the people they
02:52
hate each other so we’ve really talked
02:54
about all that stuff in this book – well
02:57
one of the things I find is so many
02:58
people say all these people have a great
03:00
relationship they’ve been married for 42
03:02
years I’m sorry
03:03
42 years does not make a great
03:05
relationship you can have a great
03:06
relationship that lasts for 42 years or
03:08
one month or one week or ten years it’s
03:12
like it’s what you choose whilst you’re
03:14
in a relationship and one of the things
03:16
that we talk about in the book is the
03:18
five elements of intimacy and all the
03:20
tools that we’ve got in this book are
03:22
actually from access consciousness and
03:24
Gary Douglas who is the founder of
03:26
access consciousness help does so we
03:30
wouldn’t have had a relationship he was
03:32
the Godfather of that relationship
03:34
absolutely so I mean for example this
03:37
one time the house that we had in
03:39
Australia is a crossroad from the beach
03:41
and I was cranky at Brandon I don’t even
03:44
know why I was cranky at Brandon I do
03:46
not remember that at the moment and I
03:48
went across to the beach that I’m
03:50
walking on the beach thinking god I’m so
03:52
cranky at him and Gary happened to call
03:54
me at the time he was like what’s up and
03:56
I was like well Brandon bla bla bla bla
03:58
you know like you do oh man
04:02
and he said to me you need to go home
04:05
and you need to make everything about
04:08
him that’s the last thing in the world
04:11
that I wanted to do was go home and make
04:13
it all about him but I knew that all the
04:15
tools that we had used worked so I went
04:18
okay and how many of the things do you
04:20
resist actually choosing that actually
04:23
work so I went home and I walked into
04:27
the house and I started making
04:28
everything about him she manipulated me
04:31
and I’m not kidding within 10 minutes he
04:34
was going honey can I get you a drink
04:36
what would you like me to cook you for
04:37
dinner tonight can I help you with this
04:39
and I was like oh my god this stuff
04:40
really works like he was making it all
04:43
about me but how often do you in a
04:45
relationship you do this thing specially
04:47
females of like no I don’t have a
04:49
problem no nothing’s wrong
04:51
yeah no that’s fine you can go and do
04:53
that and you have like these that’s
04:55
called subtext which we also talked
04:57
about in them exactly you have these
04:59
subtext and what if you could actually
05:00
truly ask for what it is that you desire
05:02
even if lek includes manipulation and if
05:06
you have a judgement about manipulation
05:07
you what will be the one that ends up
05:09
being manipulated yeah and it’s like and
05:12
the reason that Gary said that to her
05:14
and gave her that tour was because I
05:15
never had anything made about me made
05:17
all about me before so it’s like when I
05:20
got that ever in my whole life it’s like
05:22
I had abusive relationships both of us
05:25
did so it’s like it’s also looking at
05:27
the person that you’re dealing with not
05:29
looking at what you’ve decided they need
05:31
to be for you this is a big key in a
05:34
relationship but these are the things
05:36
that we we learn and we went okay so
05:38
what what is it that’s gonna create not
05:41
more for me but more for both of us and
05:44
everybody and that’s the manipulation
05:46
that we talked about in the book so it’s
05:48
gonna kind of help you out not just with
05:51
your relationships your lovers but
05:52
people that you work with and stuff as
05:54
well it’s like we have relationships
05:56
with everybody in our life so this is
05:59
definitely not just about how do I just
06:02
have my one-on-one time this is about
06:04
how do I get all my relationships to
06:06
contribute to the both of us but also to
06:09
everybody that’s involved and the
06:12
definition of relationship literally
06:14
means the distance between
06:15
two things so when you say you want to
06:18
create a relationship what you’re asking
06:19
for is to create a distance between two
06:22
things so what we nicknamed it was
06:24
instead of relationship what have you
06:26
actually asked for a creation ship and
06:29
it was something different and it was
06:31
this place that you were totally
06:32
honoring of the other person so like I
06:35
mentioned briefly before we talked about
06:37
these five elements of intimacy in the
06:39
book and can I say you’ve got to have
06:42
these with you first if you desire to
06:44
create a relationship you need to have
06:47
these five elements of intimacy with you
06:49
before you can actually ask for it with
06:51
somebody else and what those five
06:53
elements are is gratitude
06:56
so having gratitude for yourself
06:58
honoring always honoring you and your
07:02
choices trusting trust you trust what
07:05
you know trust what you’re choosing
07:08
allowance being an allowance of you coz
07:10
you know what sometimes we’re not always
07:12
that smart right some of the choices you
07:14
make you go oh it’s good thing I’m cute
07:16
because I’m not very smart today and
07:18
it’s like but you get to choose again so
07:20
being an allowance or yourself not going
07:22
to the judgement what’s the fifth one
07:24
vulnerability and vulnerability and
07:27
being willing to be vulnerable so that
07:29
you can have that place of going oh you
07:31
know what maybe I chose something here
07:33
that wasn’t so smart I mean how many of
07:35
you you don’t have to put your hands up
07:37
but how many of you have liked taking
07:39
someone home for the night had sex with
07:41
them woke up in the morning and went oh
07:43
maybe not my smartest choice some of you
07:45
might be married now to the right I know
07:47
but it’s true but maybe not your
07:48
smartest choice you get to choose again
07:50
so but it’s that willingness to be
07:52
really vulnerable to go okay I chose
07:55
this I can choose something different so
07:57
the five elements of intimacy gratitude
07:59
honor trust allowance and vulnerability
08:02
and I used to write on a little post-it
08:05
note on my bathroom mirror and I’d write
08:08
those five elements down and every night
08:10
I would this is one of the access
08:12
consciousness clearing statements and I
08:14
would poke upon which is the point of
08:16
creation upon destruction I’m just going
08:18
out there with the weird stuff
08:20
I would I would tape I would pocket pod
08:23
everywhere that I wasn’t willing to be
08:25
these five elements of in
08:27
to me see with myself because I knew
08:29
that I had to have that and so many
08:31
times people look for that in somebody
08:33
else if you have that with you what you
08:36
can have with somebody else is off the
08:38
charts it’s like that’s when you step
08:41
into this creation shoot that’s when you
08:43
step into that magic and every molecule
08:45
in your body can just like be like wow
08:47
and scream and sing and you can have
08:50
such a great time but if you depend on
08:53
somebody else for that then you’ll
08:56
always depend on somebody else for that
08:58
but if you have that with you really
09:00
different something different can show
09:02
up
09:03
and I mean we do these classes cut
09:05
relationship done different based you
09:07
know from the book with the access
09:08
consciousness tools teeth but it’s
09:10
called relationship done different
09:12
because we do go a lot more into that
09:13
and you know the different tools and
09:15
processes that you can use for that as
09:17
well okay three elements of a great
09:30
relationship
09:32
one good in bed too
09:36
they let you do whatever you want you
09:39
let them do whatever they want
09:40
three you contribute financially so this
09:44
one people think well does that mean I
09:45
have to pay for everything no it means
09:47
that they contribute an energy to your
09:49
financial reality so then being in your
09:52
life gives you more creative capacity
09:54
these are the three things that give you
09:56
the basis to a great relationship you’ve
09:58
got those three things everything else
10:00
the bonus you can build on it from there
10:02
but most people don’t look at those
10:03
three elements they go but West well no
10:07
we didn’t say love but it’s like bit
10:10
what we talked about in this book is
10:12
rather than talk about love we talk
10:14
about gratitude and the honoring of each
10:17
other because most people when they say
10:19
I love you
10:20
they have a thousand definitions of what
10:23
love is and you have a thousand
10:25
definitions of what love is and they
10:26
don’t match in you’re going but I love
10:28
you but you love Why What
10:30
what’s happening you know we have all
10:33
these different definitions so it’s
10:34
looking at the person going you know
10:36
what I’m so grateful for you today and
10:38
if you have that in your relationship
10:41
then you’re not looking for the problems
10:42
in it how many of you have been in a
10:44
relationship where you go what’s wrong
10:46
with this today you know if you get up
10:49
every morning and go what am i grateful
10:51
for with this relationship today what am
10:53
i grateful for if this person today
10:54
you’ve already put your energy into
10:56
looking for what else is possible beyond
10:59
that gratitude not what problems do I
11:02
have to solve with gratitude
11:05
you can’t have judgment judgment cannot
11:07
exist with gratitude so if you’re just
11:10
grateful for the people that you have in
11:12
your life grateful for the people that
11:13
you work with as well like relationship
11:15
where you show you what one is we talk
11:17
about a lot of different things and yes
11:19
we talk about having a partner and being
11:20
you know with somebody and there are
11:23
some fantastic tools in that book to
11:25
create a great relationship truly and
11:27
it’s also the people you work with and
11:29
it’s like you know your parents your
11:31
kids it’s like your friends what sort of
11:33
relationship do you want to create with
11:35
the people around you as well yeah and
11:38
the thing that you said before about the
11:40
relationship with yourself like if you
11:41
take that book and apply those to your
11:44
life like even looking in the mirror in
11:47
the morning it’s like how many of us do
11:49
we look in the mirror in the morning go
11:50
look today it’s like it doesn’t create
11:55
anything greater in your life so it’s
11:57
looking at okay if I had this epic
11:59
relationship with myself like I if I
12:02
truly liked me then what would the other
12:06
relationships in your life be like
12:08
and one of the things I learned over
12:10
over the years is that we invite we
12:13
invite people to treat us the way that
12:15
we treat ourselves so if you’re
12:17
constantly judging yourself if you’ve
12:19
constantly being you know mean to
12:22
yourself if you’re constantly putting
12:24
yourself down it’s like notice the
12:26
people that come into your life are
12:28
looking for that energy of how do I
12:30
treat this person so they’re going they
12:32
go why do I want to just put this person
12:34
down why do I want it’s like so it’s
12:37
changing your points of view so that you
12:39
can have something different as a joyful
12:42
living well let me give you an example
12:44
as well and I’m sure I’m not the only
12:46
person in the room that’s done this the
12:48
relationships that I had before Brendan
12:50
I was very very good at inviting men to
12:53
come into my life
12:54
to match the judgments that I had of me
12:57
and my body so I would always pick men
13:00
who I thought were just absolutely
13:02
wonderful but they were they were judged
13:05
me and they would judge my body but the
13:07
thing is it matched the judgment I had
13:09
so I would meet them and go oh look they
13:12
have the same judges judgments as me yay
13:14
and it was like this is perfect and it’s
13:17
like it’s not very honoring and it’s
13:18
really not very kind and give you a
13:21
little secret Gary Douglas the founder
13:23
of access actually said to me when he
13:25
met Brendan he went you know what he
13:27
said you need to sleep with Brendan watt
13:29
and I went why and you guys you’ll find
13:31
out what it’s like to actually have sex
13:33
with someone who’s kind caring and
13:34
nurturing so I did my homework okay
13:39
later we were still together so but what
13:43
if you even asked for that like what are
13:45
you asking for to show up in your life
13:47
if you had no judgments of you or your
13:50
body or anything about you I mean how
13:52
many of you judge your money situation
13:53
your money flows and then you look for
13:55
somebody else to fill build that space
13:58
in to fill that gap in rather than if
14:00
you had no judgment of you and you asked
14:03
for somebody to show up who was kind
14:05
caring nurturing fun joyful like what is
14:09
it you’re asking for to show up if you
14:11
actually desire to have a relationship
14:12
and the whole point of this book was the
14:15
question relationship one and it’s like
14:21
and the way this came about was we’ve
14:23
done we we put together all of the
14:25
material the content for this book we
14:28
had we didn’t have a title for it and um
14:30
Simone came in one day and she said hey
14:33
what about a title for this and it
14:35
snapped into my head because I was like
14:37
what’s gonna put people the most in
14:38
question with this relationship are you
14:40
sure you want one because for me I was
14:44
alright I was always told I needed one
14:45
it was you know it was part of life you
14:49
know get a relationship get married have
14:51
kids that was what you do the next move
14:53
the next move but it wasn’t a question
14:55
you know so I started relationships
14:58
young and pretty much have been in one
15:01
my whole life and it’s like but no I
15:03
never had that question am I sure I want
15:05
one what am I getting into this relation
15:07
before oh so I don’t have to crack my
15:09
life and somebody else can do it for me
15:11
that’s what I realized about myself when
15:14
I started oxime that question so it’s
15:16
not about relationships are bad it’s not
15:19
about relationships are good
15:20
it’s not about relationships arrive all
15:22
wrong it’s about what works for you
15:25
this is about getting true with what
15:27
works for you so that you can create
15:28
something different so you can have a
15:31
life that’s true for you not that’s true
15:33
for somebody else relationships should
15:35
be a choice not a necessity uh-huh and
15:38
it’s like when I first met when I first
15:41
met Simone the skies have opened heaven
15:49
is here luckiest man in the world
15:51
thank you God you know I was unhappy I
15:55
just started doing these that using the
15:57
tools of access consciousness and my
16:01
life at that stage was all about you
16:02
know sleeping in and then I get off me
16:04
depressed and walk around you know
16:06
kicking things around and yeah oh just
16:09
oh I don’t think I was actually doing
16:11
that but it looks dramatic something to
16:13
do it anyway but and it’s like and
16:15
someone would get up early and she’d be
16:17
down she’d be on her computer on the
16:19
phone she’d be crating and she’d be
16:20
happy and and one day I walked
16:22
downstairs
16:23
and I was like can you stop being so
16:25
happy because I was pissing me off like
16:28
nothing else that I could be so
16:30
depressed you should be depressed with
16:33
me if we’re gonna be in relationship and
16:35
she would do it so I had to get happy
16:37
because what she was doing look like way
16:39
more fun but what I’ve realized over the
16:41
years is a lot of us what we do is we
16:45
will go down to the we won’t go up to
16:48
the person in the relationship that’s
16:50
willing to have more will expect the
16:51
person in the relationship that’s
16:53
willing to have more to come down to us
16:55
and I’ve done that with many people
16:57
if somebody’s unhappy and I’m happy oh I
17:00
shouldn’t be happy while somebody else
17:02
is unhappy so I’d go down to them rather
17:04
than go hey I’m up here you want to come
17:07
play but this is another thing with
17:09
relationship if you’re willing to to
17:11
know you this is getting that
17:14
relationship with yourself if you’re
17:15
willing to know you and know what’s true
17:17
for you then you will never give that up
17:19
for anybody
17:20
including to be in a relationship and
17:22
that’s the gift that starts giving you
17:24
you and you’ll never give that up no
17:26
matter what well I remember when you
17:28
said to me were you will you stop being
17:31
so happy and I was like no and then
17:33
three days after three days you came
17:35
down and went do you know how hard it is
17:37
to be depressed
17:38
and cranky with someone living with
17:40
somebody so happy and I was like what
17:42
sorry dude that I make it so hard
17:44
alright I’m done I’m over it I got to
17:47
change something here yeah but I
17:49
recognized that I had another choice see
17:51
happiness is another thing that’s just a
17:53
choice that we make and usually we’ll go
17:54
what I’m not happy because my
17:56
relationship doesn’t work or I’m not
17:58
happy because they have no money I mean
18:00
for me I used to think when I got to a
18:02
certain amount of money I’d be happy and
18:04
then I get to that amount of money and
18:05
still be like well that did nothing you
18:07
know well once I get a relationship I’ll
18:10
be happy I’d get the relationship well
18:11
that did nothing and it’s like that I
18:14
realized that happiness is a choice that
18:16
we make also same with unhappiness but
18:18
we’ll find people to go well I’m not
18:21
happy because you did this to me now you
18:23
did that to me and I’m choosing to be
18:25
unhappy so does anyone have any
18:27
questions be willing to let it go be
18:41
willing to not lasting you know I
18:43
sometimes be lost completely you start
18:47
with the question and go okay so does
18:49
this work for me and if it’s no then you
18:52
really look at it and go okay so what
18:54
would I live if I can create anything
18:55
today what would I start with okay could
18:59
you got to start with that everything
19:00
has to start with the question otherwise
19:01
you just got you just looping back into
19:04
your past to figure out your future okay
19:06
if you start with these questions and we
19:08
talked a lot in this book about being in
19:10
the question we talked about asking
19:13
questions so that then you have choice
19:15
and then possibilities show up and then
19:17
also contribution these four elements as
19:19
well because even asking the question of
19:21
like what else is possible with my
19:23
relationship today or what else is
19:25
possible with sex today what else is
19:27
possible with you know meeting someone
19:30
today
19:31
because how often do you it see if
19:33
you’re not in a relationship and you
19:35
desire to meet someone it’s like how
19:37
often do you maybe not even cognitively
19:39
but you have this like list of like what
19:42
it should be you know it’s like I mean
19:44
Brendan was a living he’s younger than
19:46
me had a dog which I was pretty happy
19:48
about the dog because I always wanted a
19:50
dog and didn’t feel like I couldn’t
19:51
commit to one but he had a five year old
19:53
child as well and I was like I didn’t
19:56
you know I smoked cigarettes
19:58
I drank too much I snored I was hundreds
20:01
of thousands of dollars in debt he was a
20:05
real prize so I was a real guy but you
20:09
actually were so if she if she was
20:11
looking for somebody who was who was
20:14
kid-free who was financially stable who
20:16
had their together who was actually
20:18
happy somebody like me could not have
20:20
shown up in her life because that energy
20:22
would not have matched where he was the
20:24
first person that actually received that
20:26
had a level of kindness and caring that
20:29
I had not allowed myself to receive
20:31
before either so that to me sorry that
20:34
that trumps everything else so what is
20:37
it that you’re asking for and what if
20:39
you could ask for something different to
20:41
show up to beyond what you’ve defined it
20:44
should be and this was great movie with
20:47
George Clooney in it called up in the
20:48
air and there’s this scene I think it’s
20:50
just so great there’s this this is young
20:53
woman and she’s like I want to meet a
20:54
man who’s been to this college he’s this
20:56
tall he has you know blond hair these
20:59
color eyes this sort of education this
21:02
amount of money and she lists all these
21:03
things and the woman who’s she’s
21:06
probably like you know early 40s or
21:07
something looks at her and goes wow by
21:09
the time you get to my my age you just
21:11
hope he makes you laugh and has a full
21:13
head of hair
21:15
but what if you what if you destroyed
21:17
and created all of the definitions and
21:19
the points of view that you have of what
21:21
someone has to look like what they have
21:23
to be like to show up in your life so
21:25
then you’re actually willing to receive
21:26
a different energy and something
21:29
different and you know what I love about
21:30
him and by the way to just saying don’t
21:32
have to have a forehead why did we spit
21:39
up a he broke up with me so ask him well
21:45
we it got to a point where it just for
21:48
me
21:48
and I think now we both realize for both
21:51
of us it’s like we had gotten to a point
21:54
in our lives where we wanted something
21:55
different so we always talked about we
21:58
weren’t you know we weren’t the couple
22:00
who sat around and said when we get
22:01
rocking chairs and we’re sitting around
22:02
when we’re 60 and we’re gonna die
22:04
together and we’re gonna have matching
22:05
tombstones we looked at our relationship
22:07
and we’re gonna create it every day and
22:09
the day today when it doesn’t work
22:11
anymore
22:12
we’re gonna celebrate it okay so we we
22:15
did it that way rather than I see a lot
22:18
of people get into relationships where
22:20
okay now we have to create the rest of
22:22
our lives together once you do that you
22:24
have to go into maintenance of the
22:26
relationship rather than okay we’re
22:28
together today how much fun can we have
22:30
and that’s what it became to it was more
22:32
maintenance and I do see a lot of people
22:34
who who create their relationship and
22:36
when they get into this place of going
22:37
oh we’ve been together for so many years
22:39
and it becomes this maintenance that may
22:41
be fine for you yeah it wasn’t for us
22:44
and we always desired to empower each
22:47
other to have everything that we could
22:49
like I remember at one stage probably
22:50
five years into our relationship i sat
22:53
down with Brendan and I went hey because
22:55
we were based in Australia and I said I
22:57
think I want to go and live in Europe
22:59
for a while like I you know is that cool
23:01
and he looked at meeting guys will you
23:03
still contribute to the mortgage for it
23:06
yeah but it was always this like what do
23:08
you want to do what do you want to
23:10
create no I’d say and can I tell you if
23:13
you hold on to your relationship and
23:15
hold on to it really tightly
23:17
does it ever work for you or if you
23:19
actually allow it to let go and have
23:21
allowance of what the other person wants
23:23
to choose they actually desire to be
23:25
more with you as well and we have
23:27
created we’ve
23:28
great friendship and I I was like at the
23:31
beginning when he broke up the
23:32
relationship and I just want to say that
23:34
as well most people go to odd this
23:36
person broke up with me no they broke
23:38
the relationship up and most people go
23:40
to that they are less than if you are
23:42
the person that the person broke up with
23:44
you are never less than ever the
23:46
relationship broke up that’s it so and
23:49
when the relation relationship broke up
23:51
– one of the things that we sat down
23:52
Gary Douglas the founder of access said
23:55
to us and what you have a look at what
23:57
it is that you guys desire from each
23:58
other and I thought it was going to be
24:00
like who gets the house you know who
24:01
gets the car you know all this sort of
24:03
thing yeah and we wrote this short list
24:05
and on the top of our list number one
24:08
was we wanted to work on our friendship
24:10
and we have been in the past year and we
24:13
have great friends and I am I’m having a
24:16
really fun time he’s having a fun time
24:18
we are contributing to each other we’re
24:21
still creating wealth together and we
24:22
still have a financial portfolio
24:24
together we didn’t it’s like but we’re
24:26
weird you know we’re differently I
24:28
different and we talked about that a lot
24:30
in this book it’s like but what I see
24:33
with a lot of people is a lot of us are
24:34
different but we try and be normal so we
24:37
didn’t do relationship normal we didn’t
24:39
do breakup normal we don’t do anything
24:40
normal which is why we’re doing the
24:42
class relationship done different all
24:44
over the world but we have that class in
24:46
the 28 so when did you know that that
24:50
was going to occur okay so here’s
24:59
another question is that true
25:02
or did you actually have the awareness
25:05
and know that was going to occur earlier
25:10
it’s already making plans to to bow out
25:15
that the problem was but she was not
25:17
happy with our very good relationship
25:20
most most women are not happy with some
25:23
way the man having some friendship with
25:25
somebody else yeah no no it’s not a
25:28
damper the possibility I mean you – is
25:31
one of you could find somebody else and
25:33
that somebody else could really do
25:36
something
25:36
so I mean I had my pension store yeah so
25:42
the one thing that I would like to like
25:44
like you to acknowledge is you actually
25:46
knew it was going to occur and the same
25:48
and the thing is I knew that our
25:50
relationship was over as well I just
25:52
didn’t make the move to break up like if
25:55
I looked at it I went oh six months
25:56
prior you know it was sort of like yeah
25:58
you know there was science okay but how
26:01
many of you don’t acknowledge what you
26:04
actually truly know for whatever reason
26:07
that is rather than going you know what
26:09
something’s changing here I’m gonna
26:12
actually choose to change something and
26:14
do something different and if you
26:15
actually willing to acknowledge that and
26:17
change and embrace the change sometimes
26:20
it is so friggin confronting and it’s
26:22
like in your face I’ve got a friend of
26:25
mine in Australia at the moment who’s
26:26
just left his wife after nine years and
26:28
he’s like god this is hard I’m so not
26:31
used to living on my own and it’s really
26:33
emotional but it’s like but he’s making
26:35
this change so that he can embrace
26:37
something different showing up so when
26:40
you know this and the thing is it’s like
26:41
I mean we haven’t we had to tell you
26:43
about this the other day I said we have
26:45
to be willing for our relationship to
26:46
change every single day the one thing
26:49
that I know about me and I actually know
26:51
it about Brendan as well is that we will
26:53
always choose what is going to be
26:55
greater so we work with the same company
26:58
so I and I don’t think I’m not leaving I
27:00
don’t think he’s leaving either so we
27:02
will know each other for a while but it
27:04
doesn’t mean we have to be best of
27:05
friends we can be it needs to be a
27:07
choice every single day and that’s the
27:09
thing with all relationships not just
27:10
your lovers it’s like everyone every
27:13
relationship should be a choice not a
27:15
necessity just because you’ve had a
27:17
friend for 20 years doesn’t mean they
27:19
have to be your friend for the next 20
27:20
years you may change so dramatically
27:23
that that doesn’t match the energy of
27:24
where you’re heading anymore but the
27:26
thing that I would like you guys to
27:27
acknowledges you know far more than what
27:31
you’ve been willing to acknowledge if
27:35
you’re willing to acknowledge your
27:37
knowing and your awareness then your
27:39
choices just might be a little bit
27:42
easier a little bit
27:45
yep a lot of females have done that I’ve
27:48
been there done that they’re not
27:50
available and they’re the most
27:51
attractive thing in the world okay I’m
27:54
gonna do something here that’s a little
27:55
bit different and you guys probably go
27:57
what the hell is she talking about
27:58
but because this is short and we’ve got
28:00
to sort of wind this up I highly suggest
28:03
that if this is if this is a topic that
28:05
you’re interested please come to the
28:07
class it’s no prerequisites that we have
28:09
on the 28th like I said there’s a flyer
28:11
it starts at 6:30 but what I want you to
28:14
do right now is and this is the access
28:16
consciousness clearing statement is all
28:18
of the all of the points of view all of
28:20
the beliefs all of the thoughts and the
28:22
feelings and the emotions and the
28:24
definitions and the limitations that
28:26
you’ve created around relationship will
28:28
you destroy and uncreate it if you want
28:34
to know more about the clearing
28:35
statement you can go to this fabulous
28:36
website that’s called the clearing
28:37
statement comm dr. Dain he talks about
28:40
it but the whole idea is like this lady
28:42
was saying you go I’m 12 years old I’m
28:45
never going to have a you know a
28:46
relationship like Brendon grew up in a
28:47
pretty violent abusive family and every
28:51
time they talked about money there was
28:53
argument so his world for a long time
28:56
was I don’t want to have money because
28:58
money just means arguments and abuse
29:00
that’s not his point of view but you
29:01
grow up with that point of view this
29:03
clearing statement you can just say
29:05
everything that those crazy weird people
29:07
at that you know Watkins book shop said
29:09
or POC and pod okay and sometimes you
29:12
won’t even remember it’s like we have
29:13
things that we will come to a decision
29:15
at two so we won’t remember now we’ll go
29:18
why can’t I change this in my life
29:20
reason you can’t change it is because
29:22
you’ve made a decision that’s created
29:24
that point of view that’s running the
29:25
rest of your lives which is the point of
29:27
creation yeah that creates the point of
29:29
destruction of not being able to move
29:31
forward and that’s all about the in the
29:32
clearing statement as well because it’s
29:34
all about energy yeah so what this is is
29:37
to take away as much as we can so
29:40
that you guys actually get some freedom
29:41
with this stuff with everything not just
29:43
be your relationships so clean the
29:46
out of the standard when there’s a pony
29:48
wagon it we’re gonna go into like I I
29:51
enjoy doing these intro classes like the
29:54
one that we’re gonna do it because we
29:55
never know where its
29:56
to go we pretty much walk in there and
29:58
go okay what’s up and then we’ll take
30:00
everything that’s going on and see how
30:02
much stuff we can change in that short
30:05
time so they are a lot of fun if it
30:07
sounds cool come along we’re gonna talk
30:09
about a lot more widget so that’ll be
30:11
fun for me and if you come or you don’t
30:13
come the one thing I would like you to
30:14
get out of this evening is whatever you
30:16
are currently choosing is not wrong yeah
30:18
okay you are not wrong you’ve never been
30:22
unless you’re a man there’s a joke that
30:28
we tell if a tree falls in the forest
30:30
and nobody’s around to here is a man
30:32
still wrong yeah
30:36
kidding I love it that the women laugh
30:38
in the middle like Shh
30:44
[Applause]

RELATED:

I Expected TO Be Single Forever

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