Crash Course US History Outtakes #5


In which John Green mispronounces words, asks if jokes are appropriate, and struggles to use the teleprompter.

Transcript Provided by YouTube:

00:00
3…
00:01
2…
00:02
1…
00:03
Oh, hold on I gotta sneeze.
00:05
Hi, I’m John Green, this is Crash Course—- augh, Meredith!
00:09
Lack of confidence.
00:10
Meredith, you feeling confident?
00:11
Meredith, you gotta believe in yourself.
00:12
This is Crash Course US Hissory and we’ve augh hissory?
00:16
Hissory?
00:17
Hi, I’m John Green, this is Crash Co–[laugsh]It’s still late you gotta be early.
00:22
No?
00:23
Oh, it never got in.
00:24
Meredith, more aggressive.
00:26
I guess, yeah.
00:30
Like certain Crash Coasts— ahh, Crash Coasts.
00:33
Now that’s a big– Now that’s a– aow, sorry, sorry globe.
00:36
Tilted towards short tormed economic— short tormed?
00:39
Strands of conservatism– conservatism.
00:42
Let’s go to the Thought Bubble.
00:44
Let’s go to the Thought Bubble.
00:45
Nope.
00:46
Make me do it again.
00:48
Alright.
00:49
Let’s go to the th–Let’s go to the Thought Bubble [laughs] F***.
00:50
The president also authorized the National Sec– What is the NSA?
00:53
Is my diet Dr. Pepper in the shot?
00:55
I have no nuance, I’m not Shailene Woodley.
00:57
Read my l- [sighs] I had to burp.
01:00
Was a certain Crash Course US History host.
01:03
I ran out of air.
01:04
Whereas if you’re American arguably the most important thing this guy ever did was give
01:09
– inseminate his wife?
01:12
Oh, It’s time for the open letter?
01:13
No wait!
01:14
That- that– we don’t do that anymore.
01:18
Ughdkshfow not my best work.
01:21
The rules here are simple.
01:26
The rules here are simple.
01:28
That was pretty great.
01:30
No, it was great on every level.
01:31
That was fantastic!
01:32
So as far as I’m concerned I don’t know what you guys are whining about.
01:35
No, I can’t say that, you’re right.
01:36
It’s terrible, it’s pretty brutal.
01:37
Is that funny?
01:39
And John “It’s Pronounced Beynor” became the speaker of the house.
01:42
Is that funny?
01:43
Is that funny?
01:44
Uhm, I don’t really have a joke there.
01:47
So it was that millions of children were exposed to a fascinating and– I don’t know, what’s
01:52
the joke here?
01:53
Now these days of course Dan Quayle is best known for getting in an argument with fictional
01:56
television character named Dan Brown– Dan Brown.
01:58
Reagan fired them.
02:00
All of them.
02:01
Nope, he didn’t.
02:03
So what caused the financial fart-storm that began in 2008?
02:06
Well it was a complicated– I don’t have my teleprompter so I have no idea.
02:10
Come on baby, there we go.
02:13
Stan!
02:14
Let me grab the piece of paper.
02:16
Meredith!
02:17
Does he have a Wikipedia article?
02:21
Does he?
02:22
Stinky financial farticles [laughs] I don’t think- I’m worried that they like won’t be
02:29
able to show it in middle schools because we are being such children about this.
02:35
Alright.
02:36
Can I say that?
02:37
Generally kind of a national embarrassment.
02:38
Can I say that?
02:40
The so called wireless– I think it’s warrantless wiretapping, not wireless wiretapping.
02:45
He easily defeated John McCain, who, you know, is not a young man.
02:52
Can I say that?
02:53
He turned- turned?
02:54
Why do I keep saying turned?
02:55
What did I say?
02:57
What’s my line?
02:58
What was the line?
02:59
I’ll do it again.
03:00
Actually, I don’t know the line.
03:01
So this episode has a lot of downers.
03:02
Uh, I wanna make a joke about how like we caused the great recession in the whole world.
03:06
Meredith doesn’t know who that is.
03:07
[Stan says “Come on.”]
03:08
She doesn’t.
03:09
I’ll bet you 1000 dollars.
03:10
Which made it easier for wemen.
03:11
Wemen, Why do I always say wemen?
03:13
I was fully 23 years old when I realized that euthanasia did not mean youth in Asia.
03:20
Significant piece of social legislation.
03:23
Legislation is a very hard word for me to say.
03:25
No rational thinking person would ever think like “This is gonna end in sex!”
03:29
Which basically was a 700 dollar billion.
03:32
7000 alululullllrrrrrruuuuupabababa.
03:34
That’s true, that’s future Stan’s problem.
03:38
Crash Course is produced and directed – oh.
03:40
Thank’s for watching Crash Course and as we say in my hometown; “It’s morning in America.”
03:45
What should I say?


This post was previously published on YouTube.

Photo credit: Screenshot from video.

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