Are You Responding to These Manipulative Behaviors?

Or getting interested – even turned on – by the wrong sort of behavior?

It’s more common than you think. And this pattern will continue if you don’t figure out why you keep responding to these bad behaviors.

This week, I sit with my friend Aubrey Marcus for his podcast. He’s a fascinating guy whom I’ve loved spending time with since we met on our Ice Retreat in January.

Mid-podcast, a really interesting moment happened…

He asked me about a questionable technique certain men use to get women attracted. Spoiler alert: it’s not a kind one.

You’ll hear us talking about it in the video…

My response won’t surprise you.

But what concerns me deeply is that this technique exists because it often works.

I want to ensure it never works on you. Let’s make sure your confidence is never so low that you respond to this kind of thing…

P.S. Thought for the day: Some guys are not there for you to “figure out.” Do not waste your life trying to decipher the behavior of the wrong person.


00:00
like the neg for example is this
00:02
backhanded compliment that creates a
00:04
certain sense of insecurity in somebody
00:06
that you can cure because you’ve caused
00:09
you’ve caused the pain and then you
00:11
provide the solution which is a
00:13
psychological manipulation that’s black
00:15
magic for your game yeah right that’s
00:18
strategy but it’s strategy played
00:20
without the ethics and without being the
00:24
person do you want to be the person that
00:26
manipulate someone into your bed I have
00:29
several problems with the idea of the
00:30
neg firstly the neck starts from a place
00:35
it starts from the assumption that
00:38
you’re lower value I need to knock you
00:43
down so that we’re on the same level you
00:47
don’t need to neg someone who’s of the
00:50
same value as you yeah you only have to
00:53
neg in a situation where you feel like
00:56
you’re punching up which is establishing
00:58
your lower of work already tipping your
01:01
hand for small women like that for smart
01:05
women you’re already tipping your hand a
01:07
smart emotionally intelligent person
01:09
knows immediately I’m a this is an
01:13
insecure man yeah huh like this is I
01:16
don’t want to give any time to this
01:17
person so that’s my first problem is
01:20
that it already starts with the this is
01:22
this assumption that means your
01:24
confidence isn’t in the right place to
01:25
begin with I also think we always have
01:29
to pay attention to stop paying
01:32
attention blindly to what works and
01:34
start paying attention to who it works
01:36
on hmm I don’t want the woman that an
01:41
egg works on yeah truth I want a kind
01:46
person who values kindness the kindness
01:51
is up there for me like you want to talk
01:53
about like what’s my biggest thing that
01:54
I want in a relationship what’s the
01:56
number-one priority for me it’s finding
01:57
a kind individual a kind person does not
02:03
respond or respect that they respond to
02:04
or respect that behavior mm-hmm because
02:07
it’s not kind it’s mean yeah it’s just
02:09
mean I love playing around with people
02:13
I love teasing people I love like banter
02:16
but you won’t find me saying a mean
02:19
comment – somewhat sure you just won’t
02:21
like you I put money on that you spend a
02:24
whole year with me you will not find me
02:26
saying mean shit I just don’t it’s not
02:29
who I am and I don’t want someone in my
02:30
life who’s driven by that and so I think
02:34
the moment you neg someone and it works
02:38
you’re in trouble
02:39
hmm yeah you’re either either there
02:42
don’t respect the kindness or they don’t
02:44
have the awareness and if they don’t
02:45
have the awareness of their own and
02:47
they’re not able to track what’s
02:48
actually going on then they might not
02:50
even have the level of consciousness
02:51
that you want precisely to create the
02:54
relationship that’s gonna be virtuous
02:55
for you anyway I want the person that
02:57
recognizes the neg as a mean move then
03:00
and says I want no part of this yeah
03:10
you

Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

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